Now it seems like God's finally realized my sins.
and he wants to punish me for doing all these things.
He's bringing me down in every possible way.
making me want life to end every new day.
Slowly, he takes away everything precious to me.
after all that i've done, i don't deserve to be happy.
i wake up in the morning, always full of dread.
Knowing that as time passes by, my lover could be dead.
God probably doesn't care when he sees my tears.
He just laughs, and continues to multiply my fears.
He yells down to me, "Hey, you deserve all this shit!"
and i know that he's right, i cannot deny it.
i've been smoking and drinking my life away.
Maybe that's why the fucking sky's always grey.
Been doing things with boys that i'm forbidden to do.
holding, hugging, kissing, saying "i love you"
Angels looking down from heaven, heads shaking in shame.
Probably thinking i'm a disgrace to my family name.
They're singing me a prayer, hoping i don't go to hell.
But here i am on earth, my soul ready to sell.
How could a girl like me go so wrong?
Turning now to drugs, as where i used to be so strong.
I look for the concrete pleasures, they make me forget.
It looks as if the devil has taken me as his pet.
I do the Devil's sins, i'm under his control.
Deeper & deeper i fall, down to this fuckin hell hole.
Even God can't pull me out, he just simply lets me go.
And he smiles as i burn in hell, painful and slow.
God then reminds me of the people i've shamelessly hurt.
He tells me i've sinned so much, my life has no worth.
The Devil says not to worry, he'll take care of my sins.
And as he says this, he flashes his most evil grin.
He points to a boiling pot, full of memories and regret.
"Drown in your own sorrow bitch, i won't let you forget."
i shake as i plunge back into my past.
and i see what i've done wrong, from my first to my last.
From drinking to slashing to simply teasing kids.
i wish i could apologize for all that i did.
I plea to God, begging him to forgive.
His reply was a cold, "Through this torture, you'll live."
Everyday i awake to that very same dream.
Recalling, those memories always makes me want to scream.
All the things i've done wrong, i wish i could take back.
but the self-motivation is what i most lack.
Every night i look the Devil right in the eye.
and he proceeds to tell me that the life i live is only a lie.
Because in the morning, i leave with an unrevealing smile.
But inside, i'm breaking down with stress all the while.
I'm being pulled down by my very own pride.
but God's tearing it down, my wrongs have got nowhere to hide.
My sins creeps up behind me, they strangle and choke.
I let them slowly kill me, because i've given up on hope.
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